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| Bookcover from Amazon.com |
Opinion
Fátima contacted me and asked me to review her story honestly, and I’m glad she did. This is some tale, my friends. This is a rather long book, but one that takes us on a journey of self, of underdogs, and appreciation of a person's own journey. This story has a protagonist who for the most part is the villain of her own tale.
One thing I really enjoyed was the way that Fátima took a character like her protagonist and gave her so much to deal with. This wasn’t some bite-sized little girl who was trying to struggle toward a goal; this is a girl who didn’t realize she even had a goal, to begin with. As we journey with Madeline, we find out a lot about her, and the way she handles things.
As a logical person, impulsive people bother me. I have a sister who is impulsive. Impulsive people are everywhere and that my friends, is why this character is so realistic and believable. To anyone who is impulsive, or knows someone who is, this character is the most real thing there could be.
The balance comes in a character she initially hates but comes to rely on. I want to point out this character is in, and one of the more positive things about the story, not only because of his own opinions but also because this character has such significant influence. Because of the impulsiveness of the protagonist, we feel the pain they both deal with from the reaction, and actions of each other.
Let’s talk about antagonists. There are a lot of secondary antagonists in this story, and they are very well done. Villains are not easy to create, I can attest to that. Thus, when they come both in subtle points along the story, but also appeared in more large and nasty points, they really can influence and impact a story. The main point here, the protagonist has a minefield of life to endure in the pages. I think that made this story the most refreshing thing I’ve read in a while.
Critiques time. Let me preface this with the critiques I found primary are likely issues created in the upload of a book to the mobi version which is Kindle’s form. These mobi copy errors, some italicized problems, margins, and the punctuation, etc. in the Kindle copy of the book. After talking, Fátima has assured me she’s in the process of fixing it. When that happens, I’ll update my score and the rest of the review.
Regarding story critiques, this story I think is too long for what it should be, but that is my personal opinion. It has five acts, and it takes some investment to get through. Additionally, Fátima is a boss. Not only can she speak and write in two languages, but she can relate to all sorts of cultures. That said, you may find some of the words don’t necessarily fit the sentence they are in. (told instead of asked for example). It’s not a deal breaker, it’s not in every single word, and it is just occasionally appearing. I don’t feel that overall impacts the story. The main issue with it at the moment is reading it on the e-reader has some problems, and it is being addressed. I just for the record want to assure everyone, I’m not nearly as cool as Fátima, and I can’t write in two languages let alone speak them, so kudos to her for being awesome.
Finally, I’d like to close with a positive about this story. "Songs for Madeleine" is a big story as far as the number of words. Thus, if you like a tale that is very detailed and consuming, this is the kind of book you would enjoy. This has a five-act structure from what I can tell, and they move together well.
Score
UPDATE: 12/30/2018
Ladies and gentlemen, I have been in contact with Fátima about her book, and I want to start this update with an apology to her. Fátima, I should have had this up yesterday, and I am very sorry I did not. I want to take a moment to apologize for that, and any confusion I may have caused, or frustration. I'm making it a public apology because I want the world to know, that I am not perfect, and I can apologize for any mistakes I make.
Here is what happened. Fátima's book had a lot of inconsistency issues as I mentioned in the review. There were margin errors I found; there were errors with the way some sections were presented when presented again. There were problems with the formatting that I let her know about as well. I even took screenshots from Kindle PC to show her what I meant, highlighting anything that I had multiple examples of because most of it was inconsistency issues in the manuscript.
Fátima contacted another writer, and between the three of us, the book has vastly improved. I spoke to Fatima before going through it again, and I just finished going through it. What was a 68/100 is now a resounding 80/100 which means it went from a 2-star review with what I spotted to a 4-star review on Goodreads and Amazon. As such, I am going to post a review on Amazon and Goodreads to reflect the updates.
"But Mrs. Y, I'm confused. That's a 12 point increase. What changed?"
That is an excellent question, and it has to do with how I note things as I review. In this case, if on one page the margins of the book are Left Aligned, and on the very next page, they are Justified, I make a note of it. If that happens repeatedly, it eats the score down.
Fatima's book the first time I ran through it, and the second time when I was getting screenshots on a different device, looked like that. But I kept my page numbers, and after she updated, it's all Left aligned now.
I don't care if a book is Left Aligned, Centered, Right Aligned or Justified. What I care about is, is the book consistently one way or the other throughout the reading? That one page one way, the next page something else thing, hurts my eyes.
Fátima wrote a very long book, and it's a good book, but when you have that kind of back and forth, it can make the book text appear more inconsistent. But, I can assure you all, that no longer is the problem, and I know so because I took a good portion of last night, and today to verify it.
As far as some other issues I noticed, it turns out they were deliberate and had nothing to do with the e-reader at all. These were artistically chosen inconsistency issues. Case in point, the songs and poem format at the beginning of the book, do not match the song and poem format toward the end of the book. Fátima explained that she wanted to use a different way on those later examples. Additionally, Fátima sometimes uses Italics to convey inner monologue, but also possession of a dialogue sentence. These are deliberate. Other times for possession or emphasis of something in a spoken sentence, she uses ellipsis or commas to do that. The difference comes whether the dialogue is a phone conversation, or if it's a verbal conversation between characters who are near each other. I found that confusing, but she explained it. While I did take points off, I'm going to add back half of the points I took off for this situation, because I can see why she would make the distinction, even though for me it was confusing.
That is the bulk of what caused the points to go down for the initial review, and I'm happy to say they are back up to an 80.
To Fátima Carrero, you are a wonderful writer. You are a champion to those who speak, read, and write in more than their native languages. I hope you know how much I respect you, and again I'm sorry for any frustration I caused you this week.
Happy New Year everyone!
